I’m having trouble saying I’m “done” with my book because I know it’s going to come back from my editor with tons of revisions. It’s somewhat deceiving to say, “my editor” because that makes it sound like I have a book deal and a publisher, which I don’t. She’s someone I’ve hired to read through it before I send it out to agents, and my goal is to send it before the end of August.

Another reason I don’t feel completely “done” is that, well, three things: One is that I’ve heard a lot of differing opinions about which version of my Chapter One to use, and I’m not sure I made the right decision. Another is that I have a list of comments from writer friends like, “more reflection here” that I don’t necessarily agree with, so I’m just sitting on them for now until I get my editor’s opinion. I also want to read through the whole book again myself, but I just read it last weekend, so I need a break before I picking it up again. The third is that I cut a bunch of chapters that I want to stick back in, but can’t figure out where. I guess I should just leave them out, but they’re scenes or descriptions I really like and I haven’t given up hope yet that there’s someplace I can squeeze them in. Even just a couple. So I don’t feel done. But I am. At least with this draft. Draft four. And now I’m wondering … how many drafts does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Ah one, ah two …

I’ve done almost no exercise these past two weeks while finishing up my book, and I’m in desperate need of some yoga and swimming. My plan is to take the day off tomorrow and go to prenatal yoga, get a massage and maybe read for a while, but not do any work. But I’m in such work mode that it feels really unnatural to take the day off. I feel like I need to get lots of other things done – query letters and sorting photos and paying bills and editing (I have tons of editing to do). I don’t know if it’s having Shea, having another one on the way, or just my book deadline, but it feels incredibly uncomfortable to relax.


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Filed under Pregnancy, Writing

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