I’m starting to feel guilty that I haven’t done any reading, writing or editing this week (and I have plenty to do). Yesterday I spent about 11 hours on my computer—sorting out digital photos and uploading them, adding photos to my Patagonia blog posts and starting a MySpace page (I have thousands more photos to sort through, but I can’t FIND them. They’re on some other hard drive, and I can’t remember which one.) But then today I was so worn out from yesterday that all I’ve done is watch movies and take naps. I’ve been updating my movie list, by the way, so if you need movie suggestions, look here.
It’s difficult to tell whether the fatigue is from the operation or from the pregnancy. I can sit up and walk around now, but I still have trouble bending over, and I can’t lift anything heavier than the cat, whom I have to throw off my blanket every time I sit down on the couch. The pregnancy still feels a bit unreal. Aside from constant nausea, the inability to drink alcohol, and a distaste for many of my favorite foods (I can’t drink tea at ALL now, which is weird, and I hate salads, which I ate every day, and sweets aren’t as appealing as they were—although I’ve started eating vanilla ice cream.), it hasn’t affected my life that much yet. I haven’t grown out of my clothes yet, haven’t given up climbing (except for the surgery), haven’t had to take time off from writing—yet.
The one thing that has changed is the urgency in my writing. I have to get my book done by November, HAVE to (and I’m hoping I’ll get more done during the second trimester, when I won’t have to take naps on the floor of my office) because I have enough nieces and nephews (21) to know that I won’t be getting any work done for several months after December. So that’s the biggest change in my life, the urgency, the focus. And this week has thrown a wrench in all that. And yet I am kind of enjoying it, enjoying time off from To Do lists and Goals, time to rest, recover and do things I never have time to do, like sorting through photos and watching a LOT of movies.