I’ve had insomnia for the past three nights. I have no trouble falling asleep, but then I wake up at 3 or 4 or 5 (5:30 this morning) and am awake for hours (which is why I’m blogging, because I’m too tired to do much else). What do I think about as I lay awake, staring at the ceiling (before I finally get up and read or fall back to sleep)? This morning I thought about:

1. Lori P. She was one of my two best friends when I was a kid and we lost touch after her family moved to PA. I recently found her via Private and sent her an e-mail. She wrote back. She was excited to hear from me and she has three kids, etc. I wrote her a long e-mail updating her on my life over the past 20 years. Never heard back from her. I finally sent her another e-mail saying, “Hey Lori, did I say something to offend you?” No response. So I lay awake this morning wondering, Why didn’t she write back?

2. Lost. (*SPOILER ALERT* If you didn’t see last night’s episode, skip to number 3.) I lay in bed this morning thinking A. I KNEW they weren’t dead! I guessed it! I guessed it! I kept telling Martin, “It’s like Romeo and Juliet when one of them took that poison that just makes them look like they’re dead. Otherwise they would have buried them by now. And they haven’t even closed their eyes.” B. If Jack had been there, he would have known they weren’t dead. C. I don’t remember that guy having an accent before. D. Wouldn’t they still have had pulses? But then I guess Romeo’s (or was it Juliet’s?) pulse slowed until it wasn’t perceptible.

3. Those bars when we were kids. Thinking about Lori got me thinking about those bars on the playground and whether playgrounds still have them. At my elementary school, all the girls did all recess (from about 1st to 5th grade) was play on the “bars.” They were about thigh high on an adult and horizontal and I remember in first grade trying to get the courage up to swing around one on my legs. I think that whole year I did it with my arms wrapped under and around my legs so I wouldn’t fall. Then by 2nd or 3rd grade I finally got good at doing it with my hands on the bars. And we would go around around forever—forwards and backwards. (And I did fall off once and hit my chin on the ground, but just once.) I want to try one of those bars now! I wish they had big ones for adults. I also remember people climbing up onto the high bars. (I forget what they’re called), hanging by their knees and dropping off. I was too scared to drop off without holding on because I was afraid I’d face plant into the dirt. I think dropping off had a name, like the cannonball or something like that.

And halfway through my pre-dawn reveries this morning, I poked Martin (I can do this because I know he’ll fall right back to sleep):
“Hey Martin, Martin.”
“Those guys weren’t with the Others. Sawyer just thought that because they had the walkie talkie.”
“Oh yeah.” (and he’s back to sleep.)


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