First there was the hearing, like when my 14-year-old niece commented on how loud I had the radio on (she thought I was cool, but I’m really just deaf). Then there was the eyesight, which went from “I need glasses to drive” to “I need glasses to watch TV” to “I need glasses to see who’s sitting across the room from me.” Then the ankle. I sprained my ankle climbing and couldn’t even step on it for three days. I had to roll around the house on my office chair until I got a pair of crutches. “Old age” Tanya said. “We’re getting old.” Now it’s allergies. Every time I sit on my couch I start sneezing. I’ve vacuumed the cat hair off of it and kicked the cats out of the bed. I even got allergy wipes for the cats. I wash the bed sheets every week and the comforters every month, and I’ve bought a lifetime supply of Claritin (well, really Walitin). Still sneezing. So last night I got on NationalAllergy.com and ordered dustmite covers for my mattress, box spring and pillows, anti-dust mite spray for the couch and anti-dust mite powder for the laundry. Did you know that most beds and couches and pillows have dust mites, microscopic bugs that eat your dead skin, then shit, and it’s dust mite shit most people are allergic to? Isn’t that disgusting? We’re all living not only with these gross bugs but their shit, too?